February 2010
2 posts
Sixty-Not
I went to a bar in downtown last night and met this cute, Latin betty-boop looking chick with heavy shoulder tattoos and dimples. Unsure what was going on but I had a crazy headache and all I could think about was finding two Advil. So I wasn’t totally with her, mentally.
I bought her a bunch of pabst blue ribbons (of-course) and we ended up against a wall in an alley next to the bar at 11:45,...
Relief VS Satisfaction
Been fucking this new chick lately. Know her from way back. She found me on Facebook. She’s 5’8 and has long brown hair. She’s thick, but when naked she looked much different than I imagined.
In theory, her body is perfect. Her skin is smooth & tan, her tit’s are large B’s, her thighs don’t touch, her pussy is waxed and her stomach is flat and tight. Actually, her whole body is tight and...
January 2010
7 posts
A Very Short Engagement
I had a light guys-night-out last night at burger & beer joint. I didn’t know a couple of the guy’s, one of which had recently gotten engaged. We all clinked mugs and I bought him a congratulatory round of tasty Belgium beer. At one point he began to tell us how awesome his fiancé was, how she’s like no one he’d ever met and the old ‘When ya know, ya know’. I was pretty stoked for the dude and...
This Weekend’s 1st Date With "The Dancer"
About a week and a half ago I met a very attractive half-Black Half-Filipina girl at a dinner party. I didn’t spend more than an hour-and-a-half with her but it was a pretty solid time. She was very positive and seemed to have a really optimistic outlook on life, which felt really good to be around considering I tend have somewhat of a jaded tinge to my view of the world. She told me that she’d...
Single Mans Diary Turns One
One year ago today I went out with a chick I’d been fucking regularly. During our date she revealed to me that she had an anonymous blog in which she chronicled her sex life, then went on to tell me that her blog was very popular (50 whole tumblr followers) and that she’d written about me numerous times, as well as talked to some of her male followers about me. Throughout the night I asked her...
Let's Get Physical
Like many other single men, looks, style and physical appearance have always been a huge issue for me. Being attractive is extremely important and has completely controlled my life at times. A lot of single men struggle to stand out physically nowadays, especially in a city like LA where women can pick & choose good looking, successful men as they please. As a man who stands 6’ 2, weighs in at...
Make Out Buddies
*I will start this post off with a disclaimer and let you know that I’m way hungover. My stomach hurts and I can’t see straight, so this post may be a rambling, bumbling nightmare.
OK! SO!
I went to a dinner party last night and met a very beautiful Asian/Indian/Puerto Rican/Black mix of something or other. I couldn’t tell exactly what she was and I never asked. But when she walked in the front...
Heavy Rotation
At the time I started this blog I was probably having sex with 6 or 7 different women, and to successfully handle all of these women I had to use a very careful rotation. The rotation has always been a juggling act that I’ve rather enjoyed, and became quite good at. It’s sleazy game that a lot of single men play. Most do it all wrong and end up in some dramatic argument after purposely—or...
My 4th Date With “The Po Po”, and The Vagina...
Happy 2010 errbody. I hope you all had a nice Holiday and that this decade is everything that last decade wasn’t. I had a rather relaxing and somewhat boring holiday up in the mountains with my family, hiking, drinking, writing, eating great food and appreciating the wilderness. I really enjoyed being alone in my cabin for the first few days, but then I began to get despondent and lonely, wishing...
December 2009
14 posts
Merry X-Mas
Merry X-mas everyone. SMD will be on a relaxing—and potentially very boring—vaycay in the woods with family to sip egg nog and work on my book until Jan 4th.
Be sure to check back then to read about my 4th date with “The Po Po”, and to celebrate the 1 year anniversary of SMD.
Thanks to everyone for reading. I hope you recieve some great gifts, and fuck someone strange on...
White People, An Awesome Vagina, An Ear Slap & A...
I’m obviously a white guy, a pale, mildly hairy, Jewish white guy. I love all people, too. Blacks, Asian’s, Latinos, Europeans, Gays, Mormons, depressed people, scat lovers, alcoholics, Eskimo’s, whoever. Put me in a room with a group of anyone and I’ll have a blast. However, once in a while there is a group of folks that I have trouble being around. It’s like, there is a disconnect when I am with...
My "Gay"-zy Sunday
Had quite an interesting weekend. I got slapped in the ear by a douche, felt the most amazing vagina I’ve ever felt—on a 19 year old, in front of 5 people— got hit on by a LOT of men, felt an amazing pair of tits, revisited some scandalous moment’s from my past and last but not least, called a fuckhead by a drunk chick. I’d say that all adds up to a pretty successful weekend. I guess we’ll...
Last Night’s 3rd Date With “The Po Po”, and The...
I tried to see, “The Po Po”, last weekend but no go. She had to work. However, I was lucky enough to score a date last night. I find solace in going on dates during the weekdays. It feels much more relaxed and intimate. Friday and Saturday nights have an odd pressure to them. The weekends feel so much more like, “date night”, and on a weekday you can just call it, “drinks”. On a weekday you can...
Groupies
In my early 20’s I went through a short phase where I wanted to be a rock star. A buddy and I thought we had the right stuff and put together an acoustic duo. We’d play little gigs at smaller bars, coffee shops and open mics around LA. We were trying to be an early 2000’s Simon & Garfunkel, but we fucking sucked, so it was more like Sucky & Garfaggot.
We didn’t have much luck, and...
The Dating Progression
Generally, in my experience it usually takes around 4 dates before I sleep with a woman, sometimes less, sometimes more. But usually date 4 is when it’s time for you to shit or get off the pot. Every woman and every situation is different, but the general progression is always pretty similar.
Date 1.
This is the date when you put your toes in the water and feel each other out. You might go out...
A Bathroom BJ, A Loser & The Single Life
I got together with crazy Jeri this past Saturday night. It’s such an interesting dynamic, her and I. We’ve been fucking, and half-heartedly pursing some out of reach 4-way. At dinner we filled each other in on our latest dates. Kind of odd, and kind of the most ideal situation ever in the history of the fucking world. Ever ever ever. It’s like, I’m out with this girl who’s become a pretty good...
Bald Dudes, Propecia & Getting Old
A couple of weeks ago I went to an industry event with a friend to listen to a panel of speakers. A few days after I went to the event website and checked out photo’s from that evening. There were a few of me, and I looked damn good. Then I came across a couple photo’s that were taken from above the event, looking down on the crowd. I spotted myself in the audience and was shocked to see that the...
This Weekend’s 2nd Date With "The Po Po"
God, what a weekend. I have so much to write about; dates, thoughts, rants & observations. So many things popped into my slimy Ashkenazi head. Oh, and thank you to everyone who responded to my poll email. Some of your responses were quite eye opening and really helped a lot. If anyone still wants to take it, holler at chyo muthafuckin boyee.
Ok so first topic of the week, my 2nd date with...
Thanks To Everyone Who Responded To My Poll Email!...
Last Night’s 1st Date With “The Executive”
A few days ago I got a message on Facebook from a girl I didn’t recognize. “Hey, remember me?” At first glance I had no idea who she was, like zero fucking clue, but after going through a few of her facebook pic’s—there were only three—I totally remembered. I was 22 and she was 20. She had just moved to LA from Boston and was naïve, intimidated and star struck. We met at a party and the...
Poll
I’m looking for a few brave soles to take a quick poll and give me some honest answers about this blog. If interested, please email me singlemansdiary@hotmail.com
Thx
Cheating
Ok so the Tiger Woods voicemail. FUCKING AMAZING. If it is really him, of-course.
Cheating. It’s an interesting thing.
When I am in a relationship, the fear of being cheated on is the key thing that pretty much controls most of my actions. It keeps me romantic, it keeps me sexually active, it keeps me paranoid and insecure. I used to have this huge fear of being left, or fucked over & lied...
"Say Cheese!"
A few weeks ago I picked up a little HD cam, and since then I’ve been on a massive filming frenzy. I’ve been making little ridiculous movies on my computer like there’s no tomorrow, and loving every minute of it. Anyway, despite what people tell me I’ve always considered myself a little un-photogenic, which has always made me a little camera shy. However, since I got my little HD cam I can’t get...
Join The Mailing List To Have Posts Sent To You...
November 2009
12 posts
The Pick Up Artist
I received a few emails over the last couple weeks asking how I get so many women, which is really funny to me because I don’t really think I get all that much action. Not compared to some of my friend’s. I have this one friend—I had to stop hanging with because of his douchebaggery—whose sole mission in life, is to fuck different girls. He has this line he uses around his friends… Before...
Growing Up
I first discovered porn through a friend. One day I went to his house after school and he told me he had a mega-secret. A mega-secret! That’s serious shit right there! He said he needed to show me something, but made me promise to keep it to myself. I promised, and to show him how serious I was I offered to pinky swear.
It doesn’t get much more serious than that!
Once his parent’s left he...
This Weekend’s 1st Date With "The Po Po"
So I had this blind date this past Saturday night. When I say blind, I mean blind. There was zero correspondence between the girl and I before we met. The matchmaker just wouldn’t allow it; I guess she thought it was cute. I’d been pretty sick the last couple weeks so I didn’t have the energy to beg or complain. All I knew of her was that she was 26 and had an “interesting job”. Fuck it, I like a...
Why Guy’s Are Fucked & Women Are Screwed
I went to a friend’s place last night for a boy’s night of sorts. 10 dudes packed into a small, carpeted West-LA apartment to watch the Manny Pacquiao fight from last weekend—none of us caught it the night of. The fight was basically an excuse to get 10 guys together, because as a guy you can’t just call a bunch of dudes and ask them to come over to talk. That would be weird, and potentially...
The Department Store Blow
Earlier this year I had a fling with this younger Jewish chick out here from NY. She was 24, very down to earth and highly family oriented which I really respected. She thought she was much cuter and much more stylish than she actually was. I wasn’t extremely attracted to her and the sex was never that good, but we had a quirky little connection fused together by the powers of Judaism. It was one...
Remove From Mailing List Request, Too Funny
From: xxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:18:24 -0800
Subject: how do i remove my email address from your mailing list?
To: singlemansdiary@hotmail.com
hi,
can you please remove my email address from your email list.
thanks
On Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 8:02 PM, <singlemansdiary@hotmail.com> wrote:
I will remove it, thank you.
Out of simple curiosity, why the request?
...
"Don't Stop, I'm Gonna....!"
Thank you all for the well wishes and support! Unfortunately, I am still fighting off a pretty nasty fever and cold-ish thing. Last temperature check showed a cool 101.1, down from a 102.4 yesterday. Needless to say, I feel like poopy. It’s so hard to think about sex or dating when you’re past a certain point of sickness, ya know? Even porn—which is pretty much a daily occurrence for me—is a turn...
Hell
Sorry for the lack of posts. I’ve been sick as all hell. Will be back shortly, or when I find a hot chick who likes fevers and runny noses.
Holler People
Getting Flaked On By Red
I was a little unsure on what do to about red after last weeks date. We had a really amazing time our first 2 dates, but when I saw her last weekend it seemed to go awry. I also need to clarify that I didn’t expect her to diddle me just because I took her to dinner. Of-course not. I guess I just believe in give & take. If a woman sucks my dick, she’s either getting eaten out, fucked, or both...
The Long & Short Of It
A reader wrote me the other day asking what men thought about certain women’s hairstyles. Not the most riveting topic perhaps, but I felt like I should elaborate.
I’m pretty much open to any hairstyle. I love it really long, as well as really short. I especially like short haircuts that are kind of spiky and rocker-ish. I remember watching this episode of Millionaire Matchmaker. While screening...
Last Night's 3rd Date With "Red", & A Little...
It took me 4 days or so to convince red that I had NO intention of trying to get my friend have a 3-way with her and her cousin. We’d chat on the phone and she’d be cool, but would become distant when I’d try to lock down plans. After bringing up the 3-way thing 4 or 5 times she finally caved. I picked her up last night and we went to dinner. She wasn’t as bubbly and vibrant as she had been our...
October 2009
17 posts
A Double Date, A Pervert, And A Tongue Lashing
Wednesday night I went to my friend’s for a quick drink before embarking on our double date. He’s was pumped, mostly because the girl who red was setting him up with turned out to be her cousin. For some reason that got him riled up into a ridiculous, incestuous sexual frenzy. Sometimes I really wonder why I’m friends with this dude.
He offered to drive so we jumped into his 09 Range Rover—now I...
"Someday"
I’ve been in many relationships that started out wonderfully, but ended up in some sort of stalemate. Something happened. She did some shady shit, got too drunk one too many times, became lethargic about sex, whatever. We’d have a talk about it and move on, but shit wouldn’t change. Then we’d have another talk about it, and it still wouldn’t change. Before I knew it I saw sitting in a pile of...
Day Laborers & Black Guys
Re-posting this, Allison was correct that the joke was in poor taste and defeated the purpose, but this is not a “racist” entry, like not at all. I’m just repeating a comment that my friend told me—and she is black. Is her statement out of line? I don’t know, but from experience I’d say that it’s probably true. But in general, I don’t see what’s racist about saying one race likes a certain body...
How Shallow Are You?
http://howshallowareyou.tumblr.com/
This Weekend’s 1st Date With The Struggling...
A couple weeks ago my friend and I went out for a juicy steak dinner. Our waitress was a very cute red head—why am I attracting so many read head’s lately?—with a huge, curly head of hair and lot’s of freckles. I pegged her at, oh, 30? She was quite petite, and looked like she kept herself skinny and in shape, just in case she happened to get a break while serving a T-bone and taters to a...
3rd-Input
I’ve never cared much for anal sex—unless a girl has her finger, tongue or maybe even a strap-on in me. I’ve never had a—God I want to fuck her in the ass! —Fire underneath me. For a lot of my friend’s, anal sex with a woman is like the Holy Grail. It’s their main mission in life, and when they fuck a girl in the ass they hear choirs, harps and angels while rays of light come from the...
All About The Benjamins
I’ve always been confused when it comes to finances in a non-marital relationship, and how exactly to handle certain situations. I had an ex-girlfriend who never had any cash, which was actually fine, because I don’t care if a girl doesn’t make a lot of money. The problem arose when she’d rely on me for financial support.
She was always broke, and somehow always seemed to have some financial...
You're Clean, Right?
I went to yet ANOTHER wedding this weekend in Santa Cruz. Is it me, or is everyone in the world is getting married or having a baby lately?
Anyway…
I was staying with a friend’s family who had 8 other people staying in the house. I got picked last when it came to sleeping arrangements and got stuck with the fucking couch. If I knew that before hand I would’ve got a hotel room. No worries, it was...
The Numbers Game
To date I’ve slept with 127 women. That’s actual intercourse. Random blowjobs and drunk make outs remain uncounted. How do I know it’s exactly 127? Well, like an extremely immature prick, I’ve counted. I didn’t really mean to, and I never did it with any specific goal, or a purpose of seeing just how high of a number I could get.
I was 17 or 18. A friend and I began counting on our hands the...
The First Love Blow
Like most high school relationships, mine was my very first love. We were together over 2 years before she left me for an NYU scholarship. We tried to do a long distance thing. But she ended up fucking some dude 6 weeks later. Back then I was devastated. But in hindsight, who could blame her? I’m sure I would have done the same thing.
She stayed in NY. I saw her 6 years later while on a business...
This Weekend’s 1st Date With The Borders Blonde
I was really excited when I got her number a couple weeks ago. I rarely hit on women in a store like that. I was surprised it happened. She was hot and funny. It gave me a lot of confidence.
I called the Borders blonde a few days later and left a message. The next day she sent me a text. I sent her a text back. She said she’d call me that eve. No call. 2 days later I got another text. She asked...
It's That Time Again: 10 More Questions For...
1.) Girls: Would you date a guy who had the body of a god & the mind of David Beckham, but a full on ZZ-Top beard?
2.) Girls/Guys: You’ve been dating someone for a few months when you come across some pictures of a few of their EX’s. To your surprise, each one is fat as FUCK. I’m taking morbidly obese, 400+ lbs, biggest loser status. How do you feel?
3.) Girls/Guys: Would...
The 4-Way Experiment, Pt 2
Our 1st attempt to find another couple via craigslist failed miserably. Since then we’ve received a few responses to our post. Each was more pathetic than the next. Craigslist definitely makes me feel normal, and realizejust how many disturbed fuckers there really are out there.
I decided to bite the bullet and call the only half-normal couple we corresponded with. They sent us blurred pictures...
Really?
I just came across this RIDICULOUS fucking article via CNN, thefrisky.com’s what are your biggest first date pet peeves?
Clicking fingers at the waiter?
Licking the FUCKING PLATE CLEAN?!
Really? REALLY?
Can anyone relate to this shit? Has this person been dating 10 year olds who are stuck in the 60’s?
I’m not saying my blog is all that, but at least my material is somewhat...
"The Talk" With The Funny Redhead
I went to a dinner/b-day party this past Saturday night. The Evite showed 10 people, I didn’t know half of them. I got a nice bottle of wine, sprayed on some sex spray and set out to the party. I walked into a nice little house in Eagle Rock and was immediately bombarded by 3 German Shepherds. I love you doggies but get the FUCK off me. I’m not trying to get your fucking hair on my suit jacket.
I...