October 2009
17 posts
A Double Date, A Pervert, And A Tongue Lashing
Wednesday night I went to my friend’s for a quick drink before embarking on our double date. He’s was pumped, mostly because the girl who red was setting him up with turned out to be her cousin. For some reason that got him riled up into a ridiculous, incestuous sexual frenzy. Sometimes I really wonder why I’m friends with this dude.
He offered to drive so we jumped into his 09 Range Rover—now I...
"Someday"
I’ve been in many relationships that started out wonderfully, but ended up in some sort of stalemate. Something happened. She did some shady shit, got too drunk one too many times, became lethargic about sex, whatever. We’d have a talk about it and move on, but shit wouldn’t change. Then we’d have another talk about it, and it still wouldn’t change. Before I knew it I saw sitting in a pile of...
Day Laborers & Black Guys
Re-posting this, Allison was correct that the joke was in poor taste and defeated the purpose, but this is not a “racist” entry, like not at all. I’m just repeating a comment that my friend told me—and she is black. Is her statement out of line? I don’t know, but from experience I’d say that it’s probably true. But in general, I don’t see what’s racist about saying one race likes a certain body...
How Shallow Are You?
http://howshallowareyou.tumblr.com/
This Weekend’s 1st Date With The Struggling...
A couple weeks ago my friend and I went out for a juicy steak dinner. Our waitress was a very cute red head—why am I attracting so many read head’s lately?—with a huge, curly head of hair and lot’s of freckles. I pegged her at, oh, 30? She was quite petite, and looked like she kept herself skinny and in shape, just in case she happened to get a break while serving a T-bone and taters to a...
3rd-Input
I’ve never cared much for anal sex—unless a girl has her finger, tongue or maybe even a strap-on in me. I’ve never had a—God I want to fuck her in the ass! —Fire underneath me. For a lot of my friend’s, anal sex with a woman is like the Holy Grail. It’s their main mission in life, and when they fuck a girl in the ass they hear choirs, harps and angels while rays of light come from the...
All About The Benjamins
I’ve always been confused when it comes to finances in a non-marital relationship, and how exactly to handle certain situations. I had an ex-girlfriend who never had any cash, which was actually fine, because I don’t care if a girl doesn’t make a lot of money. The problem arose when she’d rely on me for financial support.
She was always broke, and somehow always seemed to have some financial...
You're Clean, Right?
I went to yet ANOTHER wedding this weekend in Santa Cruz. Is it me, or is everyone in the world is getting married or having a baby lately?
Anyway…
I was staying with a friend’s family who had 8 other people staying in the house. I got picked last when it came to sleeping arrangements and got stuck with the fucking couch. If I knew that before hand I would’ve got a hotel room. No worries, it was...
The Numbers Game
To date I’ve slept with 127 women. That’s actual intercourse. Random blowjobs and drunk make outs remain uncounted. How do I know it’s exactly 127? Well, like an extremely immature prick, I’ve counted. I didn’t really mean to, and I never did it with any specific goal, or a purpose of seeing just how high of a number I could get.
I was 17 or 18. A friend and I began counting on our hands the...
The First Love Blow
Like most high school relationships, mine was my very first love. We were together over 2 years before she left me for an NYU scholarship. We tried to do a long distance thing. But she ended up fucking some dude 6 weeks later. Back then I was devastated. But in hindsight, who could blame her? I’m sure I would have done the same thing.
She stayed in NY. I saw her 6 years later while on a business...
This Weekend’s 1st Date With The Borders Blonde
I was really excited when I got her number a couple weeks ago. I rarely hit on women in a store like that. I was surprised it happened. She was hot and funny. It gave me a lot of confidence.
I called the Borders blonde a few days later and left a message. The next day she sent me a text. I sent her a text back. She said she’d call me that eve. No call. 2 days later I got another text. She asked...
It's That Time Again: 10 More Questions For...
1.) Girls: Would you date a guy who had the body of a god & the mind of David Beckham, but a full on ZZ-Top beard?
2.) Girls/Guys: You’ve been dating someone for a few months when you come across some pictures of a few of their EX’s. To your surprise, each one is fat as FUCK. I’m taking morbidly obese, 400+ lbs, biggest loser status. How do you feel?
3.) Girls/Guys: Would...
The 4-Way Experiment, Pt 2
Our 1st attempt to find another couple via craigslist failed miserably. Since then we’ve received a few responses to our post. Each was more pathetic than the next. Craigslist definitely makes me feel normal, and realizejust how many disturbed fuckers there really are out there.
I decided to bite the bullet and call the only half-normal couple we corresponded with. They sent us blurred pictures...
Really?
I just came across this RIDICULOUS fucking article via CNN, thefrisky.com’s what are your biggest first date pet peeves?
Clicking fingers at the waiter?
Licking the FUCKING PLATE CLEAN?!
Really? REALLY?
Can anyone relate to this shit? Has this person been dating 10 year olds who are stuck in the 60’s?
I’m not saying my blog is all that, but at least my material is somewhat...
"The Talk" With The Funny Redhead
I went to a dinner/b-day party this past Saturday night. The Evite showed 10 people, I didn’t know half of them. I got a nice bottle of wine, sprayed on some sex spray and set out to the party. I walked into a nice little house in Eagle Rock and was immediately bombarded by 3 German Shepherds. I love you doggies but get the FUCK off me. I’m not trying to get your fucking hair on my suit jacket.
I...
Best Month Yet
Last month the blog received more traffic than ever before. Thanks to everyone for reading! If there is anything you’d like me to write about, or do to make the blog more interesting please let me know.
Thanks!
The Pumpkin Pie Fuck
This whole situation with Geri has been strange. I saw her a few weeks ago for the first time in over a year. A week later she’s asking me for a 4-way. She’s beautiful. She’s 27, half Brazilian/Half white, long black hair, 5’3, 105-ish with a bunch of sexy tattoos on her back. We fucked 3 times when I was 21, I think. I can barely remember it. I just remember her being loud as FUCK, which was sexy...