All About The Benjamins
I’ve always been confused when it comes to finances in a non-marital relationship, and how exactly to handle certain situations. I had an ex-girlfriend who never had any cash, which was actually fine, because I don’t care if a girl doesn’t make a lot of money. The problem arose when she’d rely on me for financial support.
She was always broke, and somehow always seemed to have some financial crisis; a late bill, a broken down car, dropping her phone in the toilet, you name it. She’d always look at me like—you’re my boyfriend, you’re supposed to help me with this kind of stuff. My initial attitude was one of, fuck that, I’m not her daddy, I’m her boyfriend. She need’s to be responsible and figure these things out on her own.
So I wouldn’t bail her out. I thought of it as “tough love”. I told her, “Look, I’m down to support you, get you food, pay for stuff when we go out or help you when you’re having a bad week or 2, but I’m not going to take care of you. That’s not my job”.
Although when I didn’t pay, the energy between us would become strange, which would also leave me second-guessing myself—Am I being insensitive? Another problem was that even though she didn’t have any cash, she’d constantly suggest things for us to do. Like, “We should go to my friend’s art show and then go to a show after”. That sounds a lot of fun and all, but who’s going to pay for all this? I am! It’s going to be a $100.00 night, easy. We also need groceries and I have rent, a car note and a shit load of other bills to pay.
When I’d suggest skipping the concert, it would become strange. “You never like to go out”, she’d say. No! It’s just that I can’t carry you everywhere we fucking go! I never knew how to handle this situation, I still don’t. It’s a double-edged sword. If you’re the nice who pay’s for everything, you fuck yourself. If you’re a dick who squeezes the nickel till the buffalo shits, you fuck yourself.
But maybe I’m just insecure and maybe I just don’t make enough. If I was in a place where I was wiping my ass with hundreds and I could support a woman, I’m sure I would. But I’m not, not even close. What I do know is that it’s much, much easier dating a girl with money. When money isn’t an issue, thing’s just flow without any roadblocks.
But the sad thing is—and I realize this sounds awful—is that most of the women I’ve met with money, I don’t want to seriously date, and most of the women I meet who are almost on skid-row, I want badly. And it’s because they are fuck HOT. I think it’s an LA thing, because all of the chicks I know in NY are not only hot as fuck, but they hustle their Asses off! Maybe it’s the weather that makes hot women not motivated to work. Maybe there are too many rich dudes here who can take care of girl, and they get used to the princess treatment.
I’ve always pictured my relationships as more of a unit, where we both bring home money. Not that she has to match me, but she can’t just sit there. And I know this goes both ways. I’ve had some friend’s who were fucking BUMS, and bounced from girl to girl, leeching onto them until they were dry. I guess the fact that I’m writing this while unemployed (and thoroughly enjoying it) is a tad ironic, but for these purposes let’s just pretend I still have my 6 figure salary.
3 months ago
